Frequently Asked Questions

Do both partners need to have ADHD?

No. ADHD couples therapy is for any relationship where ADHD is shaping the dynamic, whether one partner has it, both do, or you suspect it without a formal diagnosis. Often the non-ADHD partner has quietly become the household’s executive function, and that imbalance is what’s corroding the relationship. We work with the whole pattern, not the diagnosed person.

Do we need a formal ADHD diagnosis to start?

No diagnosis is required. Many couples come to us suspecting ADHD is part of the picture but having never pursued a formal evaluation. Our work doesn’t depend on a piece of paper, it depends on understanding the patterns in your relationship. If a formal assessment would be useful down the road, we can guide you toward trusted referrals.

Are sessions in person or online?

All sessions are conducted online via a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform. This makes therapy accessible across New York State, from Manhattan to Brooklyn to Long Island to Westchester, and works particularly well for ADHD couples who benefit from removing the friction of commuting and parking.

How long does ADHD couples therapy take?

It varies. Some couples come for focused work over 8–12 sessions to address a specific impasse. Others stay longer, especially when there’s significant rebuilding to do or when both partners want deeper individual insight as part of the couples work. We typically check in around the 6–8 session mark to discuss what’s working, what isn’t, and what makes sense going forward.

What therapeutic approaches do you use?

The ADHD Couples Therapy NYC Method integrates Schema Therapy, the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, and CBT, all filtered through deep clinical experience with how ADHD operates inside intimate relationships. We don’t apply protocols mechanically; we choose the approach that fits the moment and the pattern.

How is this different from regular couples therapy?

Most couples therapists are trained for neurotypical couples and adapt as best they can when ADHD is in the room. Our entire practice is built around ADHD relationships. That changes how we pace sessions, how we design between-session work, how we interpret behaviors like missed reminders or emotional shutdown, and how we coach the non-ADHD partner out of the parent role. The skills you learn in regular couples therapy aren’t wrong, they often don’t stick in an ADHD relationship without ADHD-specific scaffolding.

What does a session cost? Do you take insurance?

Our practice is out-of-network with insurance. We can provide a superbill (an itemized receipt) that many clients submit to their insurance for partial reimbursement under their out-of-network mental health benefits. For specific fee information, the easiest path is to book a free 15-minute telephone consultation, we’ll walk you through the details and answer questions about your specific plan.

My partner won’t admit there’s a problem. Can I come alone first?

Yes. Many of our most successful couples started with one partner doing individual work before the other was ready. We can help you clarify what’s happening in your relationship, develop strategies that don’t require your partner’s buy-in, and, often, create the conditions where your partner becomes willing to join.

What if we’ve tried couples therapy before and it didn’t work?

That’s the story most of our couples tell. Generic couples therapy frequently feels productive in session and then collapses outside of it, especially when ADHD is shaping the dynamic. We’re often the second or third stop, and the work usually feels different from the start because the framing is different. The patterns that other therapists couldn’t quite name, we name on day one.

How do I know if you’re the right fit?

You don’t have to commit to find out. We offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation where you can share what’s going on, ask any questions, and get a sense of whether our approach feels right for you. No pressure, no obligation. If we’re not the right fit, we’ll tell you that honestly and help point you in a better direction.