Paul Chiariello, LMSW
Senior Clinician · Licensed Master Social Worker
Columbia-trained social worker with deep expertise in ADHD relationships and men’s psychology. Couples therapy, individual therapy, and a men’s therapy group, with ADHD in explicit clinical view throughout.
About Paul
Paul Chiariello is a Columbia-trained social worker whose clinical work centers on the specific challenges ADHD creates in adult life and relationships. He sees men and couples navigating the self-esteem wounds, communication breakdowns, and identity questions that surface when ADHD, and the relational patterns it creates, are finally named and addressed directly.
His focus on men reflects both a clinical conviction and something he encounters repeatedly in practice: men are significantly underserved in therapy, the barriers to genuine engagement are real and specific, and the depth of work that becomes possible when those barriers are removed is among the most meaningful in the field. Paul creates a space where men can show up without performing wellness, not checking in and checking out, but doing real, honest work.
In couples work, Paul draws on Schema Therapy, EFT, CBT, and the Gottman Method, with ADHD kept explicitly in view. He is particularly attuned to the ADHD partner’s experience in a relationship: the cycle of trying and falling short, the shame that accumulates across years, the ways that shame drives reactivity and withdrawal, and the gradual work of building something different from the ground up.
Areas of Focus
ADHD Couples Therapy
Specialized couples work addressing communication, reactivity, the pursuer-withdrawer cycle, and the shame dynamics that ADHD generates in long-term partnership, with ADHD understood neurologically, not morally.
Men’s Individual Therapy
Individual therapy for men navigating ADHD, relationship challenges, identity transitions, and the particular emotional landscape that men are often expected to carry quietly and alone.
Men’s Group Therapy
A professionally facilitated men’s therapy group for men ready to work in a supported, confidential setting. Not a drop-in support group, a rigorous clinical space where real change happens.
ADHD and Self-Esteem
The identity wounds ADHD creates, defectiveness schemas, chronic failure patterns, the persistent sense of not measuring up, and the Schema Therapy work that addresses those beliefs at their root.
Trauma-Informed Practice
Trauma-informed approaches integrated with ADHD-specific clinical work, recognizing the significant overlap between ADHD and adverse childhood experience, and treating both rather than just the symptoms of one.
Emotional Dysregulation
Building genuine regulatory capacity for individuals and couples, using CBT, EFT, and Schema Therapy tools adapted for the ADHD nervous system’s particular rhythms of escalation and shutdown.
Credentials and Training
- ✓Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW), New York State
- ✓Columbia University School of Social Work, MSW
- ✓Advanced Training in Schema Therapy, Schema Therapy Training Center of New York
- ✓Training in EFT for Couples, CBT, and Trauma-Informed Practice